Finding the Right Trauma Therapist: A Compassionate Guide

Choosing a trauma therapist can feel overwhelming, It is a massive step. Let's break down some key things to remember when you're looking for support that truly helps you heal.

These are my personal views – first and foremost, it is important to find someone who suits you – which unfortunately takes time to explore and research.

Trust Your Gut

First and foremost, listen to your instincts. With trauma, we often learn to disconnect from our body and distrust our gut feelings. But that internal warning system is important. If for some reason, something feels off about a potential therapist, that matters. It may be something subconscious that has nothing to do with the actual therapist. It could be that their hairstyle or tone of voice is triggering a part of you. It is important to listen and honour that part, as finding someone who helps you feel safe enough to do the healing work is crucial.

A side note – feeling apprehensive about therapy is normal – just notice if it is resistance about the process (which yes is hard and uncomfortable) or something about the therapist which doesn’t feel right. I suggested the therapist who saved my life to a friend… who did not get on with her at all!

And if it doesn’t feel right – change! Remember you are wasting your money and time, and their time, and taking the spot of another potential client….

What the NHS has to offer…A word of caution about CBT… While Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is commonly offered through the NHS, it's often not the most effective approach for deep trauma work. It can be helpful for mild anxiety or low-level depression, but trauma requires a more nuanced approach.

Talking v Body work…You do not need to talk endlessly about the trauma…some find this helpful, for most it can be re-traumatising.

Look for a versatile approach

Think of a great trauma therapist like someone with a toolbox full of different approaches. Avoid professionals who are rigid or claim there's only one way to heal. Trauma is complex, and healing isn't one-size-fits-all. Look for someone trained in multiple modalities – this might include:

·         Dialectic behaviour therapy

·         Trauma-focused CBT

·         EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

·         Somatic psychotherapy

·         Internal Family Systems

Beyond Talk Therapy

Remember that healing doesn't always mean talking everything through. Some people feel the need to talk with a therapsit- and this can be hugely helpful. And some do not want to talk about it. So may benefit more from body-based work like:

·         Craniosacral therapy

·         Acupuncture

·         Energy work

·         TRE (trauma release exercise)

·         Somatic experiencing

Key Questions to Ask a Potential Therapist:

·         How do you work with trauma?

·         What different approaches are you trained in?

·         How do you ensure I feel safe during our sessions?

·         What's your philosophy about healing?

Red Flags to Watch For:

·         Therapists who claim to "know it all"

·         Those who push you to do something you're not comfortable with

·         Professionals who are rigid about their method being the "only way"

The most important thing is to remember this is about YOU. Take your time and go at your pace. Healing is not a race. It's okay to take time finding the right therapist. Your first session can be just about getting to know each other and seeing if you feel comfortable. Don't be afraid to have initial consultations with a few different therapists.

Managing Expectations

Trauma therapy isn't a quick fix, but it can be transformative. Be patient with yourself. Some days will be harder than others, and that's completely normal.

Final Tip

Alongside therapy, focus on managing stress, supporting your nervous system, and doing things that help calm inflammation in your body.

Remember, seeking help is an act of courage. You're taking an important step towards healing, and that's something to be proud of.